MyCat: Saved State 2

I like my women like I like my coffee...*

I've been having arguments with Toni's shower, which seems to have been born of the inclination that people rarely make use of warm water. As such it's more of a kitchen appliance, providing me with as much boiling hot or ice cold water as I could possibly want, which is fine. However when it comes to showering, something I'm fairly certain wasn't outside the speculative realms of plausible uses for a shower, the experience is similar to that of being on a Japanese game show, naked and having to crack a safe whilst getting stabbed repeatedly in the face. In fact the level of engineering accuracy and dexterous precision required to produce anything resembling a tolerable climate from Toni's shower is somewhere between brain surgery and rocket science; "One nano-millimeter between fantastically hot and fucking freezing".

[PRO-LOGUE +50pts]

Anyway to recap, I had arrived in Australia late Thursday evening, traveling over 10,000 miles, across a period of around 35 hours and standing at least briefly in 4 different continents. With enervated trepidity I carried my bags up to my room and laid down. Breathing in the enormity of my journey I closed my eyes, looking forward to the kind of long sleep earned exclusively by international wayfarers and Chilean miners. [+50pts] I was definitely not going to be woken up the following morning.

I was woken up the following morning at around 06:50 by Toni. Having taken the day off work to be with me; she had decided that instead of a lie-in, I would probably prefer a 6 o'clock slap in the face. Birds joined in. There was singing going on and the sun was lording over the pathetically ineffective attempt at shade my blinds were failing to provide. I'm not fond of mornings.

07:00

Friday morning.

Again, far too early.

My day began with a nice, relaxing and somewhat forced introduction to Toni's parents. Now, I wasn't quite feeling like the socially radiant beam of sunshine I usually am at 07:00 in the morning, but Toni was quick to reassure me by insisting I make a good impression, taking note of my appearance and reluctantly yielding; "Let's just get this over with".

So with my mind at ease, I make my way downstairs to be greeted by two mature, Vietnamese faces and the salutation of "Ah, good morning!"

"Hello!" I responded, with polite smiles all round.

"How's it going?" I continued.

This, however, proved to be a conversational dead end and as smiles remained fixed whilst eyes widened in mutual confusion, it dawned on me that this was probably about the extent of their English.

"Coffee?" Countered Toni's dad, indicating the Nescafé.

I flirted briefly with the idea of probing our linguistic barriers with the answer "fuck yes" but decided that was probably a bad idea.

"Please." [CONVO +75pts]

The conversation around me took place largely in Vietnamese for the rest of the morning, which was fine. I haven't yet worked out whether or not learning Vietnamese would make my life here simpler or more complicated, presumably both. I was happy enough to sit back and tune out as the a capella bebop of foreign language hummed innocently around me. Toni later explained that her father was pointing out that weddings are expensive and that I'd better start saving. I probably won't bother learning Vietnamese.

[IGNORANCE BONUS +200pts]

A trip then, to Inala, which Toni had briefly described to me as something of a 'culture-shock' due to the high density of Asian residents in the area. I decided not to mention that I was staying with a Vietnamese family at the time and instead bemoaned the culturally offensive level of sunlight as we sat down in an Asian owned cafe for breakfast. I ordered something with rice and pork as the cafe staff replaced my chopsticks with a spoon, evidently fearful I may cause injury to someone if required to attempt the complicated system of using two sticks to move food. I gazed earnestly out of the window and wondered which of the many defining Australian traits would first leave its impression on me. Mullets. The bewilderingly popular 80's haircut was apparently still very much in style and as children with fishtail skateboards whizzed in and out of a large Woolworths, I reevaluated what I knew about time differences. [+20pts]

We finished breakfast and had a brief wander around Inala, which isn't the largest of commercial suburbs, so was essentially just a brief wander around Woolworths. As I trawled the unfamiliar aisles, filled with the haphazard cartage of flighty shopping trolleys and an unnatural amount of BBQ equipment, wrong shaped fruit and misnamed branding assaulted my senses. Facsimile logos were propagated by erring slogans like; "Easy-Off, BAM and the dirt is gone", while unfamiliar hands peddled discontinued foods in a bankrupt supermarket. I felt as though I was descending into some kind of bizarre, products-oriented, acid nightmare. However, this being my typical response to any kind of shopping experience, I was quickly sated by the discovery of COON cheese and we left for an early lunch of Banh Mi Thit; a Vietnamese pork roll. [+20pts]

17:00

Thursday evening.

Angus and Julia Stone - Mango Tree

The weather had been thoughtfully pluvious all week, welcoming me to Australia with its first week of what would turn out to be a month of showers. This was something I had thoroughly enjoyed and was able to respond to the accusation; "the weather's been shit since you've arrived Jow" with a curt, yet high-spirited "good". Despite my almost schadenfreude revelry in the weeks rain, I was glad to see the skies tidy themselves up tonight, as I was due to be meeting Toni in Brisbane to see Angus and Julia Stone at the Tivoli and nobody here seems to like getting pissed on.

Anyone unfamiliar with Angus and Julia Stone's music, please click the link above. In fact, even if you are familiar with their music, play it in the background. It'll add to what is no doubt an already captivating reading experience for you, get me blad?
I said you do.
[C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER +100pts]

To get into the city, I first needed to catch a lift to the train station from Toni's parents. While Toni had professed to orchestrating this pursuit before she left for work, it still managed to play out with about the same level of cohesion as Abbott and Costello's "Who's on first?" sketch, if Costello's role was played by a middle-aged Vietnamese couple. However, after a good half hour of declaring that I was good to go, whilst being asked repeatedly whether or not I was ready, I hopped into their car and off we went. [+20pts]

I've found public transport to be a very calming experience here, as whilst I pride myself on my adaptability and versatility, I don't respond well to change. This being the case, public transport provides a wealth of familiarity, wherever I am in the world, it always remains comfortingly shite. Sitting by myself on the 45 minute journey into Fortitude Valley (or simply 'The Valley') at the centre of Brisbane, I note approvingly the graffiti scarred windows and outbound trains marked 'Ipswich' that fill me with a grounded sense of self amongst the strange and infinitely ridiculous place names that flew past (all real):

Tarrigindi,

Woolongabba,

Moorooka,

Toowoomba,

Toowong,

Slacks Creek,

Coorparoo,

Indooroopilly,

Yeerongpilly,

There's honestly more of these.

[+40pts]

The night was warm and clear, suitably encompassing The Valley's bustling, neon artistry. It's an ideal part of the city for a bit of nocturnal culture-juggling, so after meeting Toni at the station, we bounce around China Town looking for something to eat. I made a brilliant joke about being sick of Asians which was inexplicably, poorly received, but we stop for some Japanese food and I pay. [+20pts]

The Tivoli made for a nice venue, it's essentially a renovated theatre house that's been re-geared for music and the walls were lined tastefully with memorabilia from previous acts. The drinks were expensive, but fuck it, I'm on holiday, so I allow myself the $10 beers [+20pts] and amble into position as the lights dimmed and the action got underway.

As Angus and Julia were revealed to the crowd I admired the work that had been put into their set, ephemeral lighting cast a dreamy twilight over the band and the stage was adorned with an old-style street light and Australian gumtree. The concert ebbed and flowed smoothly with the songs, save for one clearly pissed guy, who was gesticulating devil signs, shouting and headbanging inappropriately to the contrastingly calm music being played, I considered headbutting him, but decided this would probably be similarly incongruous. The matter was settled shortly after as two large bouncers ejected him from the building before returning to assert that if we see anybody else acting up, to "put our hands in the air" and as the crowd became a sea of iPhones, I looked around and replied;

"Brilliant. I'll just wait until the band finishes."

[+75pts]